Misinformed Review #3: The 2x’s Band – “Cokesist”

I’m gonna start this review with a personal anecdote because that’s what Pitchfork does and I really want to write like a farmer so be the hell quiet and listen okay.

I remember once I was listening to a band and it was life changing and my life was totally different after that. I saw them in concert in the 90s and nothing is as good as the decades that I care about so this was important to me. I rode my bicycle down the street with this playing on a walkman but no one else could hear cause I was wearing headphones. Then I started whispering.

That segways into why I like this album. I like to whisper and so does the 2 X’s band. If you liked their first album then I guess you probably will listen to this.Their first album had an X on the cover and so does this one. Do you think the band knows that?

That being said, this was a big step forward for the The XXzibit. Instead of playing songs that people stay awake through they don’t do that. This is sad music but also not happy music.

One of the songs that people hear when they listen to the album is “Angles.” It’s acute song.

The next song is “Two chains.” At one point an angsty quiet, dark voice says something and then a slightly higher quiet, dark voice replied. This is a good direction for THE XXX Vin Diesel to go in, they should try to do this more.

Producer and beatguy Jamie XXX IceCubeVersion is really famous now so why does he make music still? He does because there is an ROI in music but not in other businesses. Drake likes him so I like him.

It is weird that the album is all about a beverage like coke. When I listen to The XoXo I normally think of Pepsi and tears drinks.

All in all this is music for smiling to with good friends, kicking back a few beers while playing some pong. I can’t imagine having a better time than listening to songs like “Oar song” and “Reonion” while crying myself to sleep because no one reads my reviews. Why do people not read my reviews? I am so sad and lonely but it’s okay because I have a blog and that gives me purpose.

This album could be better so I’m only going to give it 14 out of 7 stars because they could have whispered a lot more. More whispers means more record sales.

Thanks for reading I am still wondering if I have purpose. Bye.

3 thoughts on “Misinformed Review #3: The 2x’s Band – “Cokesist”

  1. This is hilarious – the bit about “Angles” being “acute song” got me to laugh out loud. Sometimes I get bored with album reviews, too, because they’re pretty predictable. But what else are you going to write, you know? At some point the readers will want to know about its sound compared to their last release; what specific songs sound like; who worked on the album. Have you ever tried to write a review that doesn’t sound like the billions of others? It’s pretty hard.
    Nice blog, though. I liked the post about your revelations on being a music journalist – I also love Almost Famous!

    • Hey, thanks!

      Definitely agree. Within the spectrum of music journalism, I think album reviews are the least interesting pieces to write. You’re right, it’s hard to make them interesting and in the end people just want to hear certain things about the album. Still trying to find that “original reviewing style” too. How do you do it without going into a rambling think-piece or without sounding pretentious? Definitely difficult. I like writing satire pieces like this because it forces me to not take myself too seriously.

      Thanks for checking out my blog! Enjoyed your post about CDs. Though I’m a vinyl enthusiast myself, I think you captured the same ideas for why I love vinyl in your reasoning for CDs.

  2. Pingback: Misinformed Reviews #4: My Bloody Valentino – M P 3 | My Effin Life

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