Wax Stories: Introduction

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For the past couple years I’ve tried to come up with some way to do a vinyl review blog, but I could never really settle on an idea that made sense or would be interesting enough. So what you’re reading is a step into a personal experiment. Instead of writing formal reviews of vinyl records, I’m going to tell the stories I recognize within my collection.

The other day I was looking at my record shelf and realized I could remember when and where I purchased each record. Likewise, I could remember who gave me each album and the circumstances they were gifted. I think each record has some sort of story to it. Whether it be a strong memory tied to when I got it or just the music pressed to the vinyl, there’s at least something more going on there. So with this ongoing series I plan on picking an album (or multiple albums) from my shelf and writing about what is attached to it. Instead of having old war stories, I have old wax stories.

Sometimes I’ll write about memories, sometimes I’ll write about the bands, and maybe sometimes I’ll write more formal reviews. Some posts will be long and some posts will be short. I plan on keeping it pretty varied. Maybe as I go things will get more focused, but until then I’m happy to use this endeavor to experiment. Thanks for bearing with me. I’d love to hear your feedback as I go.

I’ll post Wax Stories #1 soon (hopefully in the next couple days). I find it’s best starting from the beginning, so I’ll by writing about the first two records I purchased: U2’s “War” and INXS’ “Shabooh Shoobah.”

Also, I hope I don’t too much sound like John Cusack as I go through this process. I’m not nearly bitter enough to pull that off.

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Misinformed Reviews #2: Mackymore and Paul Ryan – “The Heist”

After years of struggling against all of the odds – rap music finally has its big breakthrough.

It’s hard not to listen to this album and feel all emotions but it is possible. Seattle rapperist Mackymore (real name Mike McGinn) is saying things to a rhythm and I think that is a good thing for music to do and it is also a good revolutionary device to use. I’m not sure if he is the first person to ever do this, but he definitely is.

But Macygraymore is nothing without his second half, Paul Ryan. It’s not uncommon for presidential-elects like Paul Ryan to join music groups but it is especially relevant here because this is in Seattle and I am in Seattle too. He likes to use a lot of beats – sometimes more than one on an album. It’s total math rock for literature majors attending community college – but, you know, rap.

The music on this album is good sounding and the first single “Thrift Stop” is a good anthem about why thrift stores smell like piss and sadness sometimes and why you shouldn’t go there if you are a firm believer in doctrine. The hook is sang by guest artist Ween, but nobody cares about them anymore (am I the only one who still listens to “She Hates Me” and “Blurry” still?).

If there was any reason to listen to this album it is Macaronimore’s commentary on topical issues like his song “Some Love” which is about why love is important but people don’t agree. Cool.

The most dominate theme on the album though is stealing because the album is called “The Heist.” I don’t support stealing but Paul Ryan and Magicmore do and so I say that kids should probably start stealing if they want to be cool and accepted by their peers.

Local soul singer Allen’s Stone is on the album. It talks a lot about cathedrals with lights and that really confuses me so it makes me angry. I don’t like to be confused so I don’t listen to that song anymore.

This album was number one on iTunes but I don’t understand why people didn’t just pirate it because this album is about stealing anyway. Stay on message guys!

Even though this album is rap music and people don’t know about rap music, I think it is nice music for nice times. I don’t know if it will make me a better person, but I think if I didn’t give it as many stars as I could people think I would be a bad person and Seattle would martyr me.

To sum it up, Jesus created this album on the 8th day because he wanted people to hear the struggles of middle america. 25 out of .00001 stars.

Okay thanks for reading goodbye now.