Misinformed Reviews #5: The Knifes – Milkshaking the Habitual

The Knifes - Milkshaking the Habitual

Swedish duo The Knifes are back and more fun than ever! Grab your sunscreen because your gonna wanna be blasting this one while on the beach or cruisin in your Corvette convertible on the way to the mall.

The Knifes members are siblings (see also: The Proclaimers, Nelson, Mackymore & Paul Ryan, etc.). And like most cool European brothers and sisters, they like to party. This album comes off of the critical acclaim of Karin’s 2009 solo record “Sugar Ray.” So there was a lot of expectations with this album. The Knifes ended up creating this incredible concept record: “Milkshaking the Habitual.”

The album title is obviously an obscure reference to Kelis’ underground hit “Milkshake” – whom The Knifes have always cited as an influence. It shows on this album. The title is also a clear indicator of the style they’re going for. The songs are sugary sweet and creamy, just like a milkshake (YUM!). The tracklist is an onslaught of short and simple pop songs. Move over T. Swift, bcuz tha Knifes are here and you’re in TROUBLE.

Songs like “A Tooth for An Eye Candy” are reminiscent of Britney Spears’ “E-mail My Heart.” Hovering above all the cutesy crush canoodling is some higher thinking though. You could say that the album is tribute to decadence and commercialism. Think Kanye West but BIGGER. These swedes LOVE money and they’re not afraid to talk about it. Whether they’re name dropping name brands (like Marc Jacobs’ new “Fracking Fluid” line) or fashionable trends (like gender equality, so fetch) they are up on every that glitz. The Knifes love money and they simply cannot get enough of it. They just want more and more. The Knife portrays themselves as the capitalist dream realized and they are livin’ it up. Don’t worry about other things in life. If you’ve got money it’s alllllll goooood, they’d say.

Karin swoons with her hush baby-doll vocals on “Full of Flower.” She serenades “Sometimes I get problems that are hard to solve what’s your story?” over a chip-tune beat. Then her brother Olof comes in at the end with his super strong, powerful masculine vocals “lets talk about you and me.” “Old Dreamz Waitin’ 2 Cum True” is the obvz club banger here, though I think they could’ve added another verse or something. It goes by really fast. Can’t wait to hear “Raging Lung” at high school dances and wedding receptions this year.

In the spirit of the album, I’m going to give it $999,999 out of $1,000,000 (I only left out $1 to keep them motivated to make more – free market baby!!!). All in all, this is The Knifes most accessible work to date. It’s fun, spunky, and just a good time waiting to happen.

xOxO ~*~ThE kNiF3s 4LyFe~*~

Previous Misinformed Review: My Bloody Valentino – m p 3

Follow me on Twitter: @DustyEffinHenry

Misinformed Reviews #2: Mackymore and Paul Ryan – “The Heist”

After years of struggling against all of the odds – rap music finally has its big breakthrough.

It’s hard not to listen to this album and feel all emotions but it is possible. Seattle rapperist Mackymore (real name Mike McGinn) is saying things to a rhythm and I think that is a good thing for music to do and it is also a good revolutionary device to use. I’m not sure if he is the first person to ever do this, but he definitely is.

But Macygraymore is nothing without his second half, Paul Ryan. It’s not uncommon for presidential-elects like Paul Ryan to join music groups but it is especially relevant here because this is in Seattle and I am in Seattle too. He likes to use a lot of beats – sometimes more than one on an album. It’s total math rock for literature majors attending community college – but, you know, rap.

The music on this album is good sounding and the first single “Thrift Stop” is a good anthem about why thrift stores smell like piss and sadness sometimes and why you shouldn’t go there if you are a firm believer in doctrine. The hook is sang by guest artist Ween, but nobody cares about them anymore (am I the only one who still listens to “She Hates Me” and “Blurry” still?).

If there was any reason to listen to this album it is Macaronimore’s commentary on topical issues like his song “Some Love” which is about why love is important but people don’t agree. Cool.

The most dominate theme on the album though is stealing because the album is called “The Heist.” I don’t support stealing but Paul Ryan and Magicmore do and so I say that kids should probably start stealing if they want to be cool and accepted by their peers.

Local soul singer Allen’s Stone is on the album. It talks a lot about cathedrals with lights and that really confuses me so it makes me angry. I don’t like to be confused so I don’t listen to that song anymore.

This album was number one on iTunes but I don’t understand why people didn’t just pirate it because this album is about stealing anyway. Stay on message guys!

Even though this album is rap music and people don’t know about rap music, I think it is nice music for nice times. I don’t know if it will make me a better person, but I think if I didn’t give it as many stars as I could people think I would be a bad person and Seattle would martyr me.

To sum it up, Jesus created this album on the 8th day because he wanted people to hear the struggles of middle america. 25 out of .00001 stars.

Okay thanks for reading goodbye now.